do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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