Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
