I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
