My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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