goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize