i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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