I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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