just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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