Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize