Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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