Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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