you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
