She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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