He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
