i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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