that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
