dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I will be naked everywhere
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
