You're completely useless in the revolution.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
