i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
