batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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