But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
