Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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