Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
