Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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