if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
