Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
