I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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