How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
