Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize