Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
