There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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