This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
