The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
