I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
