i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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