My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
