She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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