a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
