I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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