So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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