I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
