the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
