I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
