he was CRYING into my vagina
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
did you just send me my own nude
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
