Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
