these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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