Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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