my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
