butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
