I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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