Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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