her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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