Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
