I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize