We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize