The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Congratulations! We have a period
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