At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
