Do vagina's smell?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
