school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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