...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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