Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
