The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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