I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
