how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
