Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
