at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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