Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
