Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it hurts more in the daytime
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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