Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
