I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
