dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
