All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
