And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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